


Last Spring

by carpediorma



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Idiots in Love, Miscommunication, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Teen Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-30 02:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15742155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpediorma/pseuds/carpediorma
Summary: Charlotte wants her life to change. The first and most important (and perhaps only) step of her plan is getting to know the recipient of her unrequited love better, she has decided.





	1. Definitely not

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my native language, it's really late and I'm sick so this is A Mess. The important thing is that I know it and I will revise it later, maybe.  
> Today is my birthday so this is kind of a self indulgent gift to me, a girl-loving girl who loves girls who love girls (me entendé'). It's my first time writing in english and about girls having crushes on other girls, so it's a mess of verb tenses AND pronouns.

It’s five in the afternoon when Charlotte decides to do things differently that Saturday. She skips her usual study session at the library and goes straight to her house to get ready for Camille’s party. She takes a long shower, contemplating about the way her life is going to be now that she has decided to change. While getting dressed, she makes sure to wear matching underwear since it seems like the right thing to do when one is about to make a major change in their life. She spends a lot of time selecting her outfit, being very careful in choosing what she considers that are her best clothes.

While her mother is driving her to the party, she can barely make out what is being said by her. She does seem relieved and surprised which doesn’t really surprise Charlotte. When they arrive and her mom compliments her hair, she starts to feel worried. Has been she invited to the party? Surely, she assures herself as she recalls the day Camille started to talk about it in one of the practice’s breaks. She didn’t specifically addressed her but she did started her invitation with ‘Hey, everybody'. Charlotte is part of everybody, isn’t she?

She agonizes the few minutes that Camille takes to open the door. When she does, the other girl seems surprised which –then again– doesn’t surprise her.

“¡Hey, you’re here early! ¡The party doesn’t start until midnight!”

They stare at each other for a minute, none of them saying anything. Charlotte turns around to make sure her mom’s car is still parked in front of the house and of course it is. Her mother is looking curiously at them and when notices her stare, gives her a thumbs up. Charlotte wants to die.

She turns again, meaning to apologize to Camille only to be taken aback by her expression. She seems relieved which definitely surprises Charlotte. More strangely so, she then proceeds to do what seems like a little victory dance.

“Please, come in! It’s so good that you’re here!”

The inside of the house makes it very apparent that she has arrived three hours earlier and Charlotte wishes the beautiful wood floor to open and swallow her to spare her the embarrassment. Leave it to her to fuck up the day she decides to change her life. She’s so into her mini self-loathing session that barely registers what the house’s owner is saying to her and only comes to her senses when she hears a different voice.

“Stop making shit up, Cam. Whoever that is, they know for sure that you spent the whole afternoon playing video games with your boyfriend and conveniently forgot about the party, leaving all the organization to me, like you always do.”

Charlotte scans the room to find the source of that voice, with no success. It doesn’t matter though, she doesn’t need visual evidence to know that the person who just talked is Alice Mayer. And the reason she knows is that she started noticing her for her voice. The girl possessed the kind of voice that could be heard above every other sound that filled the practicing room, including the music and the professor’s lessons, which annoyed her at first. Later, when hearing her voice was the only thing that appeased her yearning, Charlotte actually turned out to be grateful about her chatty demeanor.

By then, she had already gathered everything that watching Alice Mayer from afar had permitted her. She always arrived late on Thursdays, was one of the best dancers in the whole class and was nice to everyone. She usually came to the practices by bike, liked musicals and talked to everyone. Everyone, except for Charlotte. She had tried to be more accessible but Alice was friendly and bubbly and open in a way that Charlotte simply wasn’t and never would be, which seemed to make her invisible to the other girl.

“I don’t know, I think she might not know about that.” Cam says while smiling.

Alice’s head suddenly appears through the door of what seems to be the kitchen and as soon as her eyes fall on Charlotte, she disappears again. The movement is so sudden that she isn’t able to register her reaction.

Charlotte has decided to change her life and the first and most important step to make it is to talk with the recipient of her unrequited love. She came to the party with the sole motive to leave behind her inhibitions and get to know Alice better but the mere sight of her leaves her breathless. The two girls stare at the empty door until Camille breaks the silence:

“As I was saying, it’s so good that you’re here! I know I already said that but it’s true! Just like Alice said, I lost track of time and now there’s so much stuff to do!” She then signals Charlotte to accompany her to the kitchen and she complies.

There, Alice is reading intently the calorie chart of a soda's can. She’s wearing a sundress that has seen better days and isn’t meant at all to be used in a party _and_ Charlotte can’t believe how good she looks _and_ then feels super overdressed in her outfit _and_ then wants to die because she arrived three hours earlier, all in a matter of seconds. Despite the emotional turmoil that's going on inside of her, she manages to say hi. Alice looks up and seems kind of surprised, like she hadn’t seen her just moments ago.

“Can you believe Charlie has finally came to one of my parties? And just in time to help us too! You are a godsend!” Camille says. “Isn’t Charlie a godsend, Alice?”

Alice makes a face at her friend and smiles a little at her but doesn’t say anything. It’s so rare to see her so quiet but then again, most of the time when Charlotte sees her, her attention is always on others, never on her. Now that she thinks about it, the few times the two have been alone together –waiting for the dance professor to arrive, changing clothes after the practice– have been all fairly similar. It’s like Alice shuts down every time she’s in her presence. Charlotte realizes that she hasn’t open her mouth since she arrived so she says:

“I’m really sorry! I must have misheard… And I was kind of nervous.” ‘Kind of nervous’ hardly embodies the vast spectrum of feelings she has been feeling since she decided to change her life but she thinks it’s better if no one knows that.

“No problem! Cam is really happy that you’re here.” Alice says and Charlotte feels the need to ask her how she feels about it. “You have to prepare to work a lot, though, because she’s a lazy little shit that does nothing.” Charlotte thinks Camille may be protesting but she doesn’t really care. She’s too busy exploding because of the way Alice is smiling at her.


	2. Neither

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation between Charlotte and the subject of her unrequited love ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think this is quite where I wanted it but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The other girls have gone to buy ice and Charlotte has been assigned with the task of calculating if the drinks that are currently on the refrigerator are enough for the party. She’s pretty sure there’s no way to calculate that so she starts organizing them by type of beverage, brand and color instead. One moment, she is counting how many beer’s bottles there are and the next one she’s being dragged outside by Camille, who’s profusely apologizing.

“Jared’s car broke so I have to go get him! He lives really, really far away! You would be super bored if you joined me!”

She keeps talking and apologizing at a speed that doesn’t seem possible so Charlotte can’t quite understand everything she’s saying. She is also kind of mortified at having to wait outside until they get back but then Camille is guiding her into the house next door and she’s really confused. This is not how she pictured this day at all, first embarrassing herself in front of the girl she likes and now entering a stranger’s house.

“This is Alice’s house. She’s taking a bath so wait for her a bit” Camille says and then she’s gone. Charlotte feels so out of place in this new environment that she wishes nothing more than to get out of there and run aimlessly until her legs give out. Instead she makes it her goal to keep as still and quiet as humanly possible and that’s how Alice finds her moments later, standing in the middle of her house’s living room.

Her dark hair is still a little damp and the dress she’s wearing has the color of red wine. She is looking at Charlotte in a weird way and she gets it, if a girl she barely knew suddenly appeared in her house she would freak out too so naturally she tries to explain the situation but what comes out is:

“Who’s Jared?”

“Cam’s boyfriend. What did she told you when she dropped you here?”

“That his car had broken and she had to pick him up. He lives far, far away. And some other stuff that I couldn’t catch.”

Alice grins and murmurs under her breath what appears to be a string of cussing words. She seems annoyed and Charlotte doesn’t know how to proceed. She wonders if she's mad at her. And perhaps the wisest choice is to keep silent but since she's not wise at all and her first question has resulted in what she thinks it’s the longest exchange they’ve ever had, Charlotte asks again.

“Where’s the ice? The ice that Camille and you went out to get. For the party? We should put it on the freezer before it melts.”

She sees Alice initial confusion being soon replaced by amusement and is told that they couldn’t get it so that’s their task now and the other girl droves both of them to a nearby store. Charlotte keeps asking questions to prevent the ride to be awkward but mostly because she’s really impressed. Alice keeps reminding her that she isn’t an expert but the fact that she knows how to drive and also has the confidence to do it without an adult’s supervision is impressive enough to make her dismiss her self-dismissal. They’re carrying the bags of ice inside when Charlotte admits:

“The first and only time I tried to drive, I ran over my sister’s new bike. It was so traumatizing that I can’t even sit on the driver’s seat so seeing you doing everything that effortlessly was amazing.”

“Oh. That sucks…”

“It’s okay, it’s mostly embarrassing now. You might not know but a lot of things get to me, like a lot, even when they’re kind of silly. I cry and doubt and get nervous a lot.”

Alice stops suddenly and Charlotte mirrors her.

“I don’t think that’s silly at all, I understand that an event like that can leave a deep mark.” she assures her. “And you’re right, I don’t think I know because the only time I saw you like that was when Barbara showed you that video of the two otters holding hands and I get it, you know.”

“What?” Charlotte feels her soul slipping away.

“That day in practice when Barb made it her goal in life to show everybody that video and you saw it and cried. You don’t have to be embarrassed! It’s amazing that you’re so in touch with your feelings and that you’re brave enough to express them.” she says and then hesitates a little “I know a lot of people that… that would kill to be… like that, you know.”

Charlotte is speechless and she looks at the other girl’s face, searching for signs of humor or sarcasm but founds none. Alice Mayer being the worse judge of character she had ever met is a huge plot twist.

She’s not just ‘embarrassed’. Embarrassment is a triviality of a feeling compared to the complete horror she currently feels. Also she’s an expert at throwing away all her feelings or burying them deep, not in sight and most definitely not ‘in touch’. And she’s really not ‘brave enough to express them’ seeing that she has liked Alice for more than eight months now and hasn’t managed to talk to her until today, isn’t she?

She looks around trying to find the words to answer her and notices that the ice’s bag is leaking a little on her shoe. She looks at the bag that Alice’s carrying and it’s in the same estate so she signals for her to hand it over to take them to the kitchen. Just as she’s putting them in the freezer, she hears the front door opening and Camille’s voice asking why there’s water on the living room’s floor.


	3. No, no, no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte jumps to conclusions. Wrong ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went from 0 to 100 real quick. Initially, this chapter was going to be angsty and (embarrassingly) personal but I said NOT ON MY WATCH!  
> Charlotte jumping into conclusions like https://i1.wp.com/hypebeast.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/6/files/2018/01/best-super-bowl-performances-1.gif?w=960  
> Poor girl, she doesn't do well with the attention. Also I don't confirm neither deny that I panic and get a little suspicious every time a cool person is nice to me.

Despite what one might initially think, having two more people didn’t really made the party’s preparation easier. Especially when one of them refused to work and the other one was an extremely clumsy guy. After much deliberation, Camille had choose her outfit for the night and that was her excuse to sit on the couch while watching a reality show. And Charlotte doesn’t want to judge him because at least Jared tried but for a moment she feared that by the time the party would start, there wouldn’t be any decorations left.

The party is happening anyhow and everything’s okay. There’s lots of people and they all seem to be having fun. She’s been looking around but Alice’s nowhere to be seen, disappeared as soon as people started arriving.

She’s watching Camille and her boyfriend dance and by everything she has seen of him, it’s pretty obvious that awkwardness permeate every single aspect of his life so dancing isn’t an exception. Jared’s terrible and Camille, although being a wonderful dancer, patiently keeps his pace. They look ridiculous but they’re laughing a lot and they look so, so happy that they make her ignore the fact that the movements they’re doing would send their dance’s teacher to an early grave.

The only thing she is able to think as she observes them is how comfortable and content they look with each other and how she has never felt something like that with anyone. And oh, how she wishes she could! It’s an awful thing to be so nostalgic about feelings that were never her own.

Charlotte's thoughts are interrupted by Camille's presence. She's alone, Jared's still standing in the place where they were dancing before, observing them curiously. The music is louder than she's comfortable with but the other girl's energetic voice manages to be heard by everybody who stands close to both of them.

“Why are you all alone here?! Where’s Alice?!”

She realizes that during the evening she’s been the one making questions and faced with the sudden change of roles, she’s not sure about what to answer. The question makes her think that Camille seems to be under the impression that she should be spending time with her best friend and that’s just plain weird. That’s not how things work, now she realizes despite her initial plans for the party. You can’t speak to a person for the first time and expect them to magically like you back, you can’t make up for nine months of silence in a few hours of conversation.

Just as she’s been for most of her stance in Camille’s house, she feels extremely confused and doesn’t know what to say so she doesn’t say anything, just shrugs.

“You should totally go find her! Don’t tell her I told you to, though!” The girl looks like she knows the most hilarious joke in the world. “Or tell her and while you’re at it, also tell her to not chicken out!”

To say that Charlotte has ever felt more perplexed in her life is an understatement. She gets the sudden need to leave, to get away from Camille and the noise of the party and the confusion that Alice brings to her mind.

She nods and nervously walks towards a door that leads to the backyard, passing by Jared who gives her a thumbs up and an uncomfortable little smile. And that's the moment it hits her: _she’s about to die_.

Everything clicks. The most popular girl in her dance class is plotting an evil plan to eliminate her or maybe just cause her great humiliation, although she's pretty sure the whole situation merits all the dramatics she can conjure. Everything’s so clear now, the clues were all there, laying at plain sight. It’s the setting of every horror movie that involves powerful teenagers screwing their loser teammates over.

She’s going to die tonight –in a painful, horrible way– by the hands of the prettiest girl she's ever known and Camille and her boyfriend knew it all along but did nothing to warn her. From the instant she saw them together she thought they were the cutest couple she ever saw and yet, they paid her like this.

The party's probably a front to hide their real intention which is to prey on the weak but she's been _so_ delusional and _so_ blind until now. Though, Charlotte’s not going to let her initial mistake define the end of the night, she’s going to put up a fight and she’s not going to make it easy for them. It’s not clear how she’s going to do that yet but she needs to figure it out quick.

She finally makes it outside and tries to breathe normally, the quiet and the clear air helping her to calm her wild thoughts a little. After a good moment of thought, she realizes that she's being paranoid and that stuff like that only happens in movies. She repeats herself that nothing wrong's about to happen, that everything's okay and she's just scared because she's not used to this kind of situation, but still opens her purse to find her cellphone and call her mom to pick her up, just in case.

As she's about to dial her mother's number, she hears Alice's voice quietly calling her name. 


	4. Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another conversation between Charlotte and her crush ensues, more successful this time.

Alice’s in her house backyard, looking at her, visibly uneasy. They’re separated by a fence, a fairly high one, so Charlotte relaxes a bit. She’s still alert, though, ready to run for her life as soon as the other girl makes a suspicious move. She’s pretty sure that she could be able to outrun her.

“I was about to look for you.” She sounds kind of strange, stripped away of her usual confidence. Her strong voice is a mixture of surprise and nervousness. “Things got too crazy in there?”

Charlotte thinks the best way to deal with this situation is to act as if she doesn’t suspects anything. She plans to act nonchalant and keep her distance until she makes it out of there.

“It’s fine, actually. I’m just tired, I was trying to call my mom to get her to pick me up.” She watches Alice’s expressions closely as she answers, registering every little detail.

“Oh! So soon…” she says and Charlotte thinks she can see a bit of disappointment in her face. “It’s a good thing you did, though. I can’t believe you came.”

Her voice’s unlikely soft and Charlotte feels her resistance diminishing a little. She smiles a little and her hand releases her phone. What crazy occurrence drove her to think that her crush wanted to kill her? She feels a little like Northanger Abbey’s main character, taking a little thing in her hands and blowing it completely out of proportion due to her imagination.

Her life won’t change today, she decides. She’s going to call her mom, answer every question made at her during the ride home with enough cheerfulness that her mom is left satisfied and happy, then she’ll go to bed and when she wakes up she’s going to forget every event of the previous day. It’s decided that she’s going to forget everything about her futile attempt and, of course, her crush on Alice.

She has gotten over many others so this one shouldn’t be any different. If anything, her interactions with Alice tonight made her realize how little they know each other, how little she knows about her despite what she initially thought. Being in front of that truth hit her pretty hard and she supposes that’s the reason she’s been all over the place.

She came to the party with the purpose of telling her how she felt but after everything, these feelings seem so far from genuine that she’s not sure what she could tell her. She’s sure that love can’t change your life unless what you feel is real.

She’s also surprised that, although incorrect, Alice has an opinion about her. It’s terrifying knowing that she actually took some of her time to think about her, how Charlotte passed through her mind at least once. She had prepared herself for a scenario where Alice said something along the lines of ‘sorry, I don’t remember your name’ not ‘I witnessed one hell of an embarrassing moment and took all the wrong conclusions from it’.

“I’m glad I came, too.” And it’s kind of true, perhaps a night of realizations and strong emotions was exactly what she needed to finally turn the page around and get over her dumb crush. 

“I’m sure I’m even gladder. And listen, I know you want to leave but I really need to talk to you. Could you come closer? Please?”

Moments ago Charlotte would have mistrusted that request but since she has had time to reflect and realize how stupid and unfounded her suspicions were, she complies. It’s really needed to add a “work on emotions” item to her to do list because she’s sure that feeling like thirteen different things simultaneously all the time can’t be normal nor healthy.

There’s another factor that contributes to her decision: the way Alice’s acting. She looks really nervous, vulnerable even and that’s very surprising because this is the bravest, most confident girl she’s ever met. She never hesitates when their dance’s professor evaluates her movements, she even makes jokes at her and she was the only one who dared to talk to Jamie –the best and most intimidating girl on their team– on her first day of class. Seeing her reduced to this fidgety mess is unexpected, to say the least.

“I’ve rehearsed this moment a lot but I had already lose hope that you would ever come. I _really_ wasn’t expecting you to be here. Months ago when I told Camille, she tried to come up with ideas and, like always, I got myself dragged to her stupid plans. She decided that a party would be the right place to talk to you but then you never came and I had pretty much given up but today you showed up and… oh God, I’m freaking out.” 

Charlotte opens her mouth, confused because she’s not following but Alice makes her a signal to not interrupt her.

“Please let me finish! I’ve wanted to talk to you for so long but you’re so grand and serious and I freeze every time I see you. I try to hide it but my mood goes completely out of control! And I tried to talk to you all evening but totally failed and now you’re probably scared because of how lame I am.  So, sorry for that but like, yeah…”

She doesn’t knows what to think. There’s a lot to unpack in the other girl’s words and she’s just extremely confused.

“I don’t know how to interpret your expression, you know, but it’s totally okay _._ Ok-ay! You don’t have to answer anything, I just wanted to let you know because it’s important to me but you don’t have to say a thing! Don’t worry!” Her voice keeps getting higher and more desperate.

“I’m sorry but I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” She tries to be careful with her tone because Alice’s looks miserable and Charlotte’s getting _very_ worried.

Alice takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and one by one, her hesitant words manage to destabilize Charlotte’s already pretty shaken up world.

* * *

 

“You mean that Camille and you have been doing parties just to get us to talk? Because you like me? _Are you sure?_ ”

She’s gripping the fence, her knuckles white because of the strength she’s putting on her hold. She’s sure that if she lets go, she’ll fall on her knees _and_ won’t be able to get up ever again _and_ she will die.

“When she witnessed my inability to talk to you, she thought that a more relaxed environment could work better. Plus she really likes to party.”

The slightly grayish tone of Alice’s face’s slowly fading and she even manages to smile at her. Not her usual, super smile but a little shy, equally pretty one.

“Camille’s really invested in this, you know. Jared usually comes by bus, he doesn’t even know how to drive but she wanted to give us some space and that was the less crazy excuse she came up with. I was pretty much overwhelmed so tonight is all her doing.”

“I really need to know _when_ you started feeling things. And _how_.”

Charlotte keeps inquiring, waiting for the moment where the other girl confesses that everything’s a joke because it _can’t_ be real but Alice sounds genuine, blushing more and more with every question made at her.

“I can’t really pinpoint the exact moment, like one day I was wondering why you kept looking at me like you wanted to kill me and the next one I was dying to touch your hair. It happened without me realizing, really.” She answers and her cheeks are as red as Charlotte’s hair. “I don’t know why I fell for you because you’ve never paid much attention to me but maybe that’s the whole reason. You are all focused and mature and your hair’s amazing.”

* * *

 

Later that night, as she enters her house and goes to her mom’s bedroom to let her know that “a friend brought her” she feels like she’s going to explode. She remembers the feel of Alice’s lips on her cheek and perhaps, against everything she has felt so far, her life is going to change.

**Author's Note:**

> If you were brave enough to read this, thank you and I'm sorry. I'll probably update someday.


End file.
